Picking Yourself Up After a DNF
Few experiences in the world of endurance sports can compare to the disappointment of bowing out of a race you’ve trained months or even years for. Whether it’s an Ironman Triathlon, a marathon, or an ultra-endurance bike race, the physical and mental preparation required is substantial and takes a LONG time. When things don’t go as planned, feelings of frustration, disappointment, and even self-doubt are normal. Experiencing a DNF is more common than you might think, and certainly not a mark of personal failure. That said, I understand that the inner critic is still likely coming out to play. Here are a few concepts from sport psychology that can apply to this situation.
First, it's important to acknowledge and validate your feelings. (Do I sound like a therapist when I say this? Yes. Because I am one. But hear me out!) You’ve invested a lot of time, effort, and energy into preparing for this event, and it’s legitimately okay to feel disappointed–but keep it brief. High levels of self-criticism in athletes serve as a legitimate road block for pursuing new goals, and the more athletes define themselves solely in relation to their performance, the more vulnerable they become to the emotional costs of failure. In other words, it’s important to accept that frustration and disappointment are normal reactions to setbacks.
Be wary of counterfactual thinking, where you replay the event with new, hypothetical truths (“If only I had X, Y, Z, then I would have finished”). Research shows that this can be helpful for problem solving to a certain extent, but once we start ruminating and brooding, it is no longer helpful for achievement. Notice when your thinking patterns are no longer serving you, and then consciously steer yourself away from it. Sharing your experience with fellow athletes, friends, or a coach can offer you fresh perspectives, encouragement, and advice for moving forward. Sometimes, just knowing that others have faced similar setbacks can be incredibly comforting and motivating.
When you’re ready to get back to problem solving and reflect on the race with a more neutral lens, analyze what went wrong and consider what you can do differently in your training or race strategy for future success. Treat this setback as a learning experience. Go into detective mode and get curious about what happened. Could anything have been done differently? Be honest with yourself and focus on the controllables. Often, a DNF can take place when there’s legitimately nothing you could have done differently. And that’s okay. As much as we tend to love control as endurance athletes, we won’t always have it–especially in racing. If you did the best you could, it’s important to make room for that and sit with that. Then, you can return to focusing on what’s in your control, such as your training, nutrition, and mental preparation. Learning to accept factors beyond your control is crucial for maintaining a balanced perspective.
One of the best ways to reignite your motivation, and one thing I also do after big setbacks, is to set new goals. Be careful with this, because we don’t want to get caught on the hedonic treadmill by chasing our next fix. Be intentional with the decision and give yourself a few weeks before jumping into your next training plan. Then, identify another race or challenge to work towards. This will give you something to look forward to and help you stay focused on the future rather than dwelling on the past.
One final tool in the psychological toolbox is a concept from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which teaches us to use the concept of "workability." Ask yourself, “If I really let these thoughts hook me and dictate my narratives, will I be proud of how I'm showing up as a person or athlete?” If these thoughts aren’t working for you, it’s time to move on. To help with letting go of unhelpful thoughts, give them a nod, name them, and respond with a bit of sarcasm. Say, “Thanks, Brain. Really appreciate such constructive feedback today.” Then, remind yourself that you are enough and continue on your path with committed and intentional actions.
Conclusion
Remember, every challenge, including setbacks, is an opportunity for growth and learning (even if it sucks in the moment). Your feelings of disappointment are warranted, but they don't define you or your future as an athlete–let alone as a person. By using these psychological tools and maintaining a balanced perspective, you can pick yourself up, stay motivated, and continue striving for your goals.
If you need more personalized support, consider booking a session with a sport psychologist who can help you refine your mental strategies and bolster your resilience. Remember, you’ve already shown incredible courage and commitment. Now, it’s time to build on that foundation and keep pushing forward.
